Start-up Company or Best-Selling Children’s Novel?

Here’s something dumb I wrote (aka a McSweeney’s rejection that I now share with you, my sweet lil’ 14 tumblr followers).

FUN FACT - These are all real!

Start-up Company or Best-Selling Children’s Novel?

  1. A New Adventure
  2. Fox in Socks
  3. WunWun
  4. Animal Party
  5. La La Llama
  6. Saggy Baggy Elephant
  7. Eggs Overnight
  8. Curious Hat
  9. Moo Baa La La La
  10. Animalia
  11. Where’s Lulu?
  12. Tootle
  13. Elephant Chat
  14. Chumby
  15. The Eleventh Hour

*** *** ***

Start-Up Company: 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 13, 14
Best Selling Children’s Book: 2, 6, 9, 10, 12, 15

My Ivy League Education

I found this in my Tumblr drafts today. I must have written it two-and-a-half years ago, before I left a job at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to take one at Memorial Sloan-Kettering.  This is still something that bothers me, that I still see at play in the world (or at least, in New York), so what the hell - I’m going to post it.


So, as of today, I’ve had three jobs in the 2.5 years since I left school.  In getting these jobs, I’ve also heard Penn mentioned … a lot.  People in interviews will mention it in an offhand way (“obviously you have great qualifications. (pause) I see Penn here.”) or overtly (“we want someone who went to a top school, like Penn!”)  What they’re all really saying is: “I care about nothing but meaningless credentials and you’ve got ‘em in spades!”

Here’s the thing: I did terribly at Penn. I mean, not always. I was a T.A. for a 400-level course, and I did some scientific research literally involving lasers, and I always held-down a cool part-time job, so there’s some great stuff on my resume that I achieved during my time there. I didn’t completely shit the bed.

But I was also in the grips of a major depression during my senior year, and let’s just say: When you can barely get out of the bed in the morning, you’re not doing your strongest work. My GPA reflects the 11 classes I took while basically suicidal. (Too much? Sorry. It’s the truth.)

I started college at Mount Holyoke, and that’s occassionally been noted too, but my God, people seem to love that Ivy League line on my resume. And it makes me feel gross/dirty/uncomfortable.

My education at both places was about the same and I’ve met morons and geniuses on every college campus I’ve ever visited. I know someone who started out at a community college, and went on to graduate Phi Beta Kappa from Amherst. 

Where I went to college is as much a reflection of my socio-economic status and the privileges I had growing up, as it is a reflection of being a really hard-working perfectionist in high school. And from the looks of it: I’m going to reap the unearned rewards of that luck for the rest of my life.

So in short, my sense of accomplishment in landing this new job is undermined by the icky feeling that the world is a shallow, unfair place, that wrongly favors me in the conventional job market. This makes me both a righteous liberal democrat and a sad member of the planet earth.


(to Ian McKellen) You were saying a dream of yours is that you wanted to host a show like this. 

Be still my heart.

(Source: princeoberynmartell, via zlot)

Girls are trained to say, ‘I wrote this, but it’s probably really stupid.’ Well, no, you wouldn’t write a novel if you thought it was really stupid. Men are much more comfortable going, ‘I wrote this book because I have a unique perspective that the world needs to hear.’ Girls are taught from the age of seven that if you get a compliment, you don’t go, ‘Thank you’, you go, ‘No, you’re insane.’

Lena Dunham, in an interview with The Guardian (x)

This made me cringe, because it’s so true. Oh, Lena, I love you!

Also, why can’t I just accept a compliment without deflecting?! Belated New Year’s resolution?

(Source: reshmarambles, via katespencer)

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.

Gloria Steinem (via camewiththeframe)

(via smartgirlsattheparty)

Sam Mendes'€™s 25 Rules for Directors

"Don’t be afraid of looking like a complete tit." (directing advice is creative advice is life advice, etc.)

And perhaps, those of us in the industry who are still foolishly clinging to the idea that female films, with women at the center are niche experience, they are not. Audiences want to see them and, in fact, they earn money. The world is round, people.

Cate Blanchett accepting her award for Best Actress in a Motion Picture at the 2014 Academy Awards (via victoriafication)

Lupita Nyong’o at the 86th Annual Academy Awards


Lupita Nyong’o at the 86th Annual Academy Awards


(Source: robertdeniro, via zlot)

Well-educated, well-spoken, poised-beautiful-best-dressed-inside-and-out.

(i.e. Move along, J. Law.)

Well-educated, well-spoken, poised-beautiful-best-dressed-inside-and-out.

(i.e. Move along, J. Law.)

(Source: stilinskis, via zlot)


Just a public service announcement letting you know this happens in the first episode of Broad City.

You can watch the series premiere online here.

My favorite part about this whole episode is that yes, if you are a 20-something woman who’s totally broke, you’ve briefly-but-seriously thought, “I mean, how bad could it be?!” when browsing creepers’ craigslist ads.

I guess what I’m saying is: I’m glad this truth now exists, expressed in the world.